GIORNO 291-292
DAY 291-292
PARTENZA
DEPARTURE
The day has
come. Today it’s not only “Day 291-292”, as if it was just normal, like all the
ones previous to it. No, today is the day I had marked as the saddest day of my
life on the house calendar in the kitchen, and it’s the day I’ve been scared of
for a month now, every night in the darkness of my bedroom, when the lights
were off and my head was spinning around. This is the kind of day that I have
to endure today.
If you have made
it so far with me, reading my blog, you probably don’t want to hear a list of
all the new experiences I lived this past year, but it is good for me to stop
for a second and rewind, traveling a little bit with my memory.
The moment I saw
Ann and Gary at the airport is stealing my breath, still now after ten months, because
I believe that you can’t control emotions, and I for sure felt blessed from the
very first second I saw the wide smiles drew on their mouths. They have
welcomed me and embraced me in their family and lives, made this year great,
far beyond any expectations, and for this I can’t use just words to express my
gratitude.
I think everyone
can be grateful for “the big things”: when something huge like a family trip
happens, the excitement build up as quickly as the blink of an eye, and Los
Angeles, Las Vegas, Colorado Springs, Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park,
Wyoming, are marked as “seen” on the list of places to see around the world;
but Ann and Gary also woke up at 4 in the morning to take me to the airport to
go to Hawaii, doing that just for me, because they were not coming along. Isn’t
this a big enough proof of their big, good heart?
As I stated
before, I felt an integral part of their family. Of course it’s not been
immediate, but we went through a building process that I consider to be just
natural: we had to learn the little things, and we built a strong relationship,
based on trust and honesty. I learned that if I had some spare time, I could
use it to grind some coffee and fill the Keurig cups for Ann, or wash the steak
knives and load the dishwasher for Gary, or pick up the newspaper and throw it
against the front door when I got out in the morning to go to school, or ask
Ann to go out for a mocha, or listen to
Gary explaining me about the new constructions behind the house, or or or…. And
I’m aware they did the same with me, because they gave me the perfect bracelet
for my birthday, when I had just once briefly mentioned that I loved it, or
because I always found kiwis in the fridge, or because they made the house
warmer when I was in it, when 5 degrees less would have been perfectly fine
with them, or because they always showed interest towards my family back home,
asking questions and never seeming bored to listen, or or or…
Barbara has of
course been a big part of my year: we’ve done so many things together, and
helped and relied on each other 24/7 every single day of our experience. She
was firstly a stranger, than a friend, than a best friend, than a sister by
choice. We went for walks in the evenings around the neighborhood, sometimes
escaping from stray dogs and making fun of each other once safe at home. We
went countless times to the Creole restaurant, after working out in the
recreation center, always ordering a Gumbo and going out saying that <<It
was way too spicy, next time I’ll change>>, without ever really trying
something else. We had so many classes together at school, and even an off hour
in the first semester, during which we took our time to go out of campus and
explore the nearby area. We sometimes kept company to Ann when she was
kickboxing, and we enjoyed a cup of coffee (or maybe many more) at Starbucks.
And now that I’ve met her parents as well, I am sure our relationship will not
end today: it will just have to re-adjust to the distance, and take advantage
of the electronic devices more than the face to face. But we have planes,
trains, and soon a driving license (we will have to succeed, both of us!):
there will always be a way to see each other again, I am sure.
I will miss so
many things about this life in Loveland, that no one who hasn’t lived all of this
will ever be able to fully understand how I feel right now. I loved the
culture, but I had to adjust to it and learn to appreciate it. For example,
school is much easier compared to what I’m used to, especially since the load
of work to do isn’t nearly as tough nor complicated, but I did love the way
teachers approach students here, almost as if they were friends, always there
to help and repeat themselves over and over, until we finally got the gist of the
concept. Another example: the food. This is honestly the aspect I miss the most
about my country, being a cook and foodie myself. Here they serve huge portions
and call them a meal, closing any chance that one will be hungry enough to try
something different or just a dessert. But I learned to order a starter, a
salad, or a side, which were perfectly fine and filling, or, when not
available, I kept in mind that a box to take home was always welcomed to ask
the waiter (this gesture isn’t considered impolite or rude here, not at all!). And
I found unexpected spots around the little towns nearby, that have created the
perfect background for the numerous memories I keep in my heart: I always
associate food with emotions, well, here I felt strong emotions.
There’s the
Italian restaurant in Boulder where I took my family for my birthday dinner,
where my best friends Maddalena joined us and spent all the day with me, giving
up on one of her last soccer games.
The French Bakery where my dear friend Kathy
treated me for breakfast, and the other breakfast place where the same, great
woman took me to try the traditional English scones and to live some fun
adventures.
The state of art restaurant in Denver where I ended up with Ann on
one cold winter day, while wandering around the amazing city, with no schedule
nor stress, but lots of joy and curiosity.
The Chinese restaurant where I took
Gary for lunch, after seeing him working in the garden for four straight hours
in the morning, with his hip hurting but never complaining nor asking for help.
The Italian restaurant where my big group and I went for the Prom dinner,
starting it in such a fun way and making it one of the best night of this year.
The list could go on and on, because, as you can probably see, food and myself
get along very well, but I think this was enough to conceive the idea of what I
mean by the association that I inevitably draw between eating experiences and
memories.
I just want to
also remember the times I cooked for the entire family, such as the big Easter
lunch, when I started cooking on the day before and by the time I was frying
something like thirty chicken cotolette, I couldn’t wait for me to be done, and
yet I was so happy to see everyone enjoying the meal: that was something
pricelessly rewarding. And rewarding was the hug that Barbara gave me every
time I prepared carbonara for her, or the smile that Ann showed me every time I
baked biscotti for her.
I loved loved
loved being a volunteer at the local hospital, getting the chance to interact
with patients and learn from their incredible strength and optimism. I loved
trying and learning a new sport, tennis, also taking part in the first
competitions ever in my life. I loved hearing everyone speak in English, and I
loved the challenge I picked up every day, promising myself to give a 100% to
listen, understand and answer to what was going on around me. I also loved discovering
that my country is so much appreciated here: we Italians should really be more
proud of where we come from and do our best to preserve and support Italy,
because it is almost impossible to find anything as beautiful as it around the
entire world.
Last but not
least, I have learned so much about myself, and I consider this one of the most
valuable things I will bring home with me: this year has somehow changed me,
the person I’ve become is physically very similar to the one who left Italy in
August, but “spiritually” so different. I have learned to take life more
easily, and enjoy the moment more, because everything goes by so fast, and I
will never have the chance to relieve the same exact thing again. I know this
may sound what the priest says in church, but it is what I learned, and I don’t
want to hide it, but share it with you. Let’s have more fun when we are with
company, let’s listen everything people have to tell us, let’s take pictures of
everything we like. Because all we need is memories, and we will make them
greater every time we will spend even just a few seconds to absorb them in our
hearts.
My heart right
now is like a bowl made of super thin glass: it is full of America, but Italy
is pushing from the outside to come back in.
I just have to be careful and find
the right balance.
Chiara Muzio
